Libel or Slander? A True Account

On March 29th I submitted the article "BC Trumps BU. Eats Baby" to BU's alternative news source, The Source. On March 31st I received the following email from editor Carlene Olsen, one in a series of astonishing communiques.


On Mar 31, 2006, at 11:53 AM, Carlene Olsen wrote:

Hey Greg,

I just read through your humor article and I may have missed this,
but what exactly is the baby flesh tradition? I am asuming it is a
mockery on something and that the players do not eat baby flesh,
so I was wondering if we could clarify that a little so a million
emails don't come in about that.

Thanks!

-Carlene



I responded with the following:


Hi there Carlene,

I've added a line to clarify. See below.

"...Yes, indeed, there’s nothing the gentlemen of the BC hockey squad love more than greedily consuming the flesh of a living child..."

-Greg


Several hours later:

On Mar 31, 2006, at 6:23 PM, Carlene Olsen wrote:

Hi Greg,

Ok, I am sorry to bother you about this again, but are you saying the BC hockey team does in fact eat babies???? Maybe it would work better if you just sent me a little paragraph explaining the article, because I want to be sure I know the facts. Even though it is a humor piece, I'm guessing quote a few people would not take eating babies very well, so please let me know exactly what you mean.

Thank you,

-Carlene



I think to myself, "Well you see--wait, what?" and respond:

Hey there,

Yep, I'm talking babies alright. They're real sonofaguns...

People didn't take Jonathan Swift well either and when you take into consideration the fact that my writing legacy is greater than his, we should have no problem at all.

So brief paragraph...I am attributing the devastating BC win over BU to BC's habit of consuming human infants. It gives them some sort of super human strength I guess.

thanks,

Greg



Uh-huh...smells like the story of the century!


On Mar 31, 2006, at 8:22 PM, Carlene Olsen wrote:

Hey Greg,

Ok, well if they do in fact eat babies, I need a verifiable source before I can run the story and if that is actually true, I think there is a much larger story worth taking on then a humor piece. I just cannot seem to believe the hockey team actually eats human babies and no one has done/ or said anything to larger news organizations about it...

Thanks,

-Carlene


Worn down by this exchange, I weep until I am incapable of crying anymore before drifting into a dreamless sleep.