The Real World: Arboreum

This is the true story of six species of plant picked to live in a house. What happens when trees stop acting polite, and start acting real?

Int. House. Day.

JAMES, a ficus plant (mid-Western, religious character), enters and spots MIKEY, a palm tree (frat boy character), giving a massage to a JESSICA, a weeping willow (repressed, quiet character).

James (confessional): I don't know what's going on with Mikey and Jessica, but they've been getting pretty serious lately. I'm pretty religious...I'm just not comfortable with all of the sexual tension.

(back to present)

Mikey: Hey, hey, forget him...he was a jerk.

Jessica: I know, but we've been dating for over 3 years...I can't just forget him like that. Why would he do this to me?!

Mikey: Hey, sh, sh, sh...just breath.

Jessica: You're such a good friend, Mikey.

Mikey: I know, I know...shh...

CUT TO:

Ext. Marina. Evening.

DANIELLE, a patch of moss (non-black minority role) is having a drink with her housemate MARCUS, a lupine (the gay character).

Danielle: So are you are your boyfriend serious?

Marcus: Yeah, um, pretty serious, it's like, when we're together it's like he's *there* you know but when we're separate, I dunno, it feels like we're not together, you know what I mean?

Danielle: Definitely.

A PAUSE

Danielle (cont'd): My brother has cancer. (cut to commercial)

FADE IN:

Ext. Street. Night.

MIKEY and DARREN, an agave plant (non-offensively black frat boy character), are walking to a club.

Darren: So you gonna get with Jessica or what?

Mikey: Whatever, bro.

(Two petunias drive by in an expensive convertible and give Mikey the eye)

Darren: Yeah, PLAYBOYEEEE!!

CUT TO:

Shots from the club: Mikey and Darren grinding with different slutty plants, taking shots, flexing.

Darren (to Mikey): My mom just died.

CUT TO:

Jessica and MELANY, a species of stricta (granola lesbian), are at the house having a heart to heart.

Melany (eating organic pudding): Soooo, like, do you think you and Mikey will end up hooking up?

Jessica: I don't know--we're such good friends right now.

Melany: Yeah.

A BEAT

Jessica: Mikey has AIDS.

FADE OUT

CUT TO

ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE REAL WORLD: ARBOREUM...

Shots of Mikey and Darren jumping into the pool naked

Shot of Marcus and Melany sky diving

Shot of Jessica and Mikey climbing into bed together

Shot of Darren and Danielle in a screaming match. Danielle is visibly intoxicated.

Shot of Mikey dying of AIDS

FADE OUT.