Why Can't My Life be Like Keynesian Economic Theory? By Marc Blaskowitz, Age 37, Insane

Everyone just quiet down!

I wish my life was like Keynesian Economic Theory.

In Keynesian Economic Theory, a mixed economy is promoted, where both the public and private sectors of government play a role in the economy. In my life I eat food through a tube and throw up.

In Keynesian Economic Theory, aggragate demand for goods is seen as a driving force behind the economy. In my life, Jacob screams at night when Michael turns off the light in our room.

In Keynesian Economic Theory, macro-level trends can, and should, overwhelm the micro-level trends of the individual. In my life Shane bit me and then punched Dr. Rothschild and Shane had to go into a room where after he got back from it he couldn't talk or walk by himself anymore.

In Keynesian Economic Theory, there is no strong automatic tendency for output and employment to move toward full employment levels. In my life, I can't have pens.

I wish Keynesian Economic Theory was my life because then macro-level trends would overwhelm Jacob when he eats my fruit snack.