Why I Think Ben Simpson Would Make a Good Superhero

1. Ben Simpson has a 40" vertical leap.
2. Ben Simpson can catch a salmon in his mouth in the summer and fall
   
3. Ben Simpson once told me a really funny story about milk coming out of his nose.
4. Ben Simpson is convinced he can fly.
5. Ben Simpson can speak several languages, all of them English.
6. Ben Simpson loves peace.
7. Ben Simpson hates black people and Asians.
8. Ben Simpson lives in Ohio aka secret headquarters.
   
9. Ben Simpson has never been seen in the same room as Spiderman or Superman.
10. Ben Simpson owns lots of technology, a must if one is to fight crime and stay up to date.