Sufia's Spin

Once a week I speak with my friends and family back home (it is only once a week because of the high prices charged by American cellular phone companies...not all of us can be some bimbo who has her T-mobile sidekick and talks all day while baring her breasts for all to see!). Whenever I speak with my friends and family, they always ask me the same old thing: Is it true that everyone in America has a gold farm? I sometimes feel like laughing at their naivety, but then other times I feel guilty for laughing. After all, it's not their fault that their genitals were removed at the first sign of puberty (because I attend university in America I have avoided this ritual).

This week I am going to talk about the US postal system. That's right, all you alcoholics and idiots, your mail system which so many of you seem to take for granted! In Florida, where even bankruptcy cannot touch your personal belongings, the mail comes swiftly and every day. Abroad though it is a fact that well over 1.82 million children go everyday without mail...or even stamps with which to mail a letter to themself! This is because in many places abroad, it is a fact that mail is simply not allowed. Not allowed? you might ask as you drive your SUV down the street, thumping some bad tunez before running over a homeless person and laughing. Yes, not allowed I tell you.

But there is hope--you can do something about this problem using your skills and knowledge. Many times people think they can be free without actually being free from things like government or fitting in with the crowd. Just because you have a right to stand up, does not mean that people abroad will always have food to eat. This is not enough I am saying out you.

A 1995 newspaper article from an American newspaper showed that only 14%--fourteen percent!--of children who are eating US candy (manufactured abroad of course) are not eating enough food made out of chicken products. Is this because they are afraid the chicken products that are not packaged so nicely will have to be killed by their own parents? Raise a gun and shoot the chicken if you are so afraid of killing with your own hands as many of us do at home in Florida. We do this because we are forced to because we cannot afford store-bought chicken because we give all of our money to charities and homeless people.

It does not matter to us that we live in a stucco palace. In fact, sometimes the showers take a while to heat up with the water and I am left to stand in a towel made of the most luxurious of cottons while I wait for sometimes over 3 minutes. But here in Boston University, you might be inclined to murder someone and get away without a trial because your father is a judge. When I am in my Egyptian sheets at night in bed at home in Florida, I listen to the gentle lapping of the bay, or sometimes to the sound of one of our many fountains, and think, "What would my life be like if I had no arms? Or worse, if I had no foie gras to eat?" Then I translate the thought into French, then into Greek and finally into Latin and I think how pleased my father was when I completed my language lessons and translated the works of Dante into Mandarin.

It is a well known statistic that 99% of people who graduate from college to not share their skills with others and pass down methods of curing disease. We can become the future engineers or civilization! But instead, you are too lazy to look at the eagle as it passes overhead and miss the chance to see a really nice bird.