Frank Bruni Is a Little Girl

In the Food and Dining section of today's NYTimes, Frank Bruni reviews Robert, the steak house in the Penthouse Executive Club. The review (cleverly titled 'Where Only the Salads Are Properly Dressed,' which doesn't really make sense because the girls in question actually are properly dressed, this being a strip club and all) is exceptional, if only because it's fun to watch Frank Bruni pretend to be a heterosexual.

His squeamishness in the admittedly raunchy environment coupled with the glee with which he mocks the topless dancers makes for one hell of a restaurant review.

In this excerpt, he tests his wit against that of a stripper named Foxy:

“Foxy,” I began, then stopped myself, wondering if I was being too familiar. “Are you and I on a first-name basis, or should I address you as Ms. Foxy?”

“You can call me Dr. Foxy,” she said.

“Is that an M.D. or a Ph.D.?”

Oh-ho! Frank Bruni, 1, IDIOT STUPID FOXY, zilch!